


Killer Queen

by VerityGrahams



Series: Pride of Portree - QLFC - Season 7 - Chaser 1 [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cameos, Daily Prophet, Drag Queen Lucius Malfoy, Drag Queen Severus Snape, Drag Queens, Drag names, Gen, Murder, Newspaper Article, RuPaul Cameo, RuPaul's Drag Race References, plots and schemes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 05:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21031328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerityGrahams/pseuds/VerityGrahams
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart has hosted the Wizarding Drag Championship for the last five years. Usually this"Wizard Wireless Network Special is on the front page for all the right reasons. Wizarding Drag has been on the popularity rise for the last ten years, showcasing the very best comedy, musical performances, and fabulous fashion....It seemed that this rivalry reached an all time high when Patricia Pouts was found in the work room, dead, with a purple leotard that was seemingly the cause of death."





	Killer Queen

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I do not own Harry Potter
> 
> I had wanted to write about these characters in a DragRace!AU for another round, unfortunately I couldn't make it work in time.
> 
> Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition
> 
> Team: Pride of Portree
> 
> Position: Chaser 1 - 'Another One Bites The Dust' - represented in the competition and in the murder of one character
> 
> Optional Prompts:
> 
> 11\. Title: Killer Queen
> 
> 7\. Colour: Royal Purple
> 
> 8\. Object: Leotard
> 
> Wordcount: 2666
> 
> Written for International Wizarding School Championship: Summer Camp
> 
> Week 6 - Singing: Write about trying to become what your heart desires
> 
> Warnings: This story includes a character death. There is a description of the death, which is not gory, but does contain some detail.

Killer Queen

Finally, her brood were in bed, and she could relax. She poured some steaming water in her favourite brown, leaf-print mug and steeped her favourite leaves; Ceylon. A touch of honey and milk and she was ready to relax in her favourite chair. There was nothing that Molly Weasley loved more than a good cup of tea and the Rita Skeeter's gossip column before bed.

She took a sip of tea. 'Perfect,' she thought.

Then the Prophet, which had been hogged by her husband at work, was lying on her lap. The article sent her reeling. This was a story like no other. She could neither believe the scandal nor who it involved.

* * *

**KILLER QUEEN ON LOCKHART'S DRAG CHAMPIONSHIP**

Gilderoy Lockhart has hosted the Wizarding Drag Championship for the last five years. Usually this Wizard Wireless Network Special is on the front page for all the right reasons. Wizarding Drag has been on the popularity rise for the last ten years, showcasing the very best comedy, musical performances, and fabulous fashion - which is showcased in the Drag Championship Weekly Magazine.

This latest season has been fraught with tension. This is rumoured to be due the conflict between many of the contestants, as well as the host. This has culminated in disastrous consequences for the show, which is potentially going to be cancelled, after tension reached unimaginable heights. Producers of the show are rumored to have encouraged the 'shade' between prominent drag queens; Nancy Nightshade and Lady Fawn, also known as Severus Snape and James Potter.

The two are said to be old school rivals, and this has only become more and more heated throughout the season. The producers have often pitted the two drag queens against one another. Often Nancy Nightshade has been singled out by Lady Fawn and her Drag sisters; Virginia Goodlay, Lola Lupalicious and Patricia Pouts, also known as Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

Nancy Nightshade has given as good as she gets; the name nightshade speaks to the sarcastic, bitter humour that comes out in her entertainment. It can be vicious backstage. It was during the third week of the competition when drag queen Dixie Goodlay, real life brother of Virginia but also a close friend of Nightshade and Lucy Malicious, was eliminated from the competition in favour of Patricia Pouts. This led to some backlash from a number of the Drag Queens.

Helluva Bottom Carter, otherwise known as Rodolphus Lestrange, said, "She's a queen that has no star quality, just a hogbody wrapped in sequins!"

This kind of rivalry is usual on the hit WWN show; however, it seemed that this rivalry reached an all time high when Patricia Pouts was found in the work room, dead, with a purple leotard that was seemingly the cause of death. This reporter can exclusively report that Aurors are scrambling for details. There were no eyewitnesses and there was no physical evidence. It seemed very much like a professional job.

Aurors have been forced to listen to past episodes of the show to see if they are able to glean any details that might shed some light on the case. One avid listener, a Wizard, and drag queen called RuPaul Andre Charles, stated that the murder weapon could be highly significant.

"_Firstly, it's not purple, it's Royal Purple! And this particular leotard was the one that Patricia wore on the episode in which Dixie Goodlay was eliminated. Not only was she eliminated, but also, this could have been due to Patricia Pouts telling the judges that there was foul play. We all know that Pouts isn't the strongest queen, and the shady games that Marauder Drag Family have been playing this season has caused a lot of upset._"

I didn't just leave it there. With the Auror office being tight-lipped, as usual, I decided to do my own investigation. In some unheard, exclusive footage, I heard Nancy Nightshade describe the murder in a threat to one Patricia Pouts:

"_There is enough fabric in that royal purple monstrosity that I could murder you three seperate ways! I could shove it down your chubby throat and watch you choke on the purple sequins, but with so much fabric, it would be only wise to tie you up, limit your chubby overgrown limbs from flailing and hitting me in the face! And when I got bored of watching you struggle, I could wrap the remaining fabric around your neck and put you out of your misery."_

In this recording, Patricia Pouts mumbles and is soon rescued by Virginia Goodlay, who isn't as afraid of one of the most intimidating drag queens to appear on WWN's Wizarding Drag Championship.

"_Look, Nancy Nasty Knickers, leave Patricia alone or you will feel it from me!"_

The threat fell on deaf ears, as Lucy Malicious soon joined his best friend. Nancy is not one to need protection though, and retaliated herself, saying, "_It's cute that you think I am frightened of you, doggy! Push me, throw shade my way, or any of my friends' way one more time, and the Marauder Drag family will start losing its members!"_

The threat was made and with the tone of this season, it could be taken in stride. Virginia laughed off Nancy's comment, however, Nancy made sure that he knew it was a promise. The producers of the show felt that the scenes were too explicitly violent, even though it was just words, they were cut from the show. It seems now that the rivalry had taken a fatal turn.

Rita Skeeter will be continuing to cover the story of the WDC scandal and trial over the coming weeks.

* * *

Molly was aghast, she had been so enthralled with the article that she had failed to drink her tea, which was now stone cold. She had watched the show, and secretly suspected that all the insults and fights were simply for show. Nancy had always been one of her favourites. The dark character had fantastic style and the sinister sense of humour never failed to make her and Arthur laugh.

"There's no way," she said to herself. "Nancy is dark, but she would never…" she trailed off.

She couldn't help thinking of the Royal Purple Leotard. She had seen it in the weekly magazine. It had not flattered Patricia at all, and Molly was sure that she would be kicked off the show, in fact, she had been disappointed when she remained. The more she thought about it, the more she doubted Nancy Nightshade.

* * *

It had only been a few days, but Molly had noticed earlier in the day that there had been a follow up article about Nancy Nightshade and the murder of Patricia Pouts. She had felt very guilty, but still rushed her children to bed an hour earlier than usual. Bill had pointed to the clock, stating that his arm was not facing 'bedtime' yet. There was a lot more fuss, but Molly had succeeded. She didn't bother with the tea tonight. After all, she knew the article would take up all of her attention.

* * *

**NANCY NIGHTSHADE: 'Another One Bites the Dust'**

Nancy Nightshade, famed drag queen from the popular Wizarding Drag Championship is still being held in custody and is the prime suspect in the murder of one Patrica Pouts. Nancy Nightshade is also known as Severus Snape, the dower and miserable Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Many have come out to speak against the dark potions master, including an old colleague of his, Igor Karkaroff.

"_Severus Snape always had a dark streak, and his hatred of the Marauder Drag Family is renowned. He is also one of the smartest wizards I know, so I am not surprised there is no trace of actual evidence. As Nancy Nightshade states, 'Another One Bites the Dust'."_

Parents have been sending howlers to Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, outraged that such an unhinged man could be responsible for the care of their children. Severus Snape is not just in charge of the Potions Department, but is also Head of Slytherin house, and many have been slandering the good name of Albus Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore has stood firmly behind Severus Snape, offering his support in any way he can.

"_Severus Snape, while moody, sarcastic and unnecessarily mean, is assuredly not a murderer. I hope that Severus knows that his position will be open for him once this whole mess is cleared up."_

Perhaps more useful to the imprisoned drag queen, is Lucy Malicious, otherwise known as Lucius Malfoy. He is known to be one of the most successful lawyers of current times and is representing his fellow drag queen, more so, he is doing so 'pro bono' despite Albus Dumbledore's offer to pay the fees himself. Speaking up for his client, Lucius states that he is confident that Severus Snape will be released in record time.

"_There is only circumstantial evidence at best, and that evidence is called into question when analysing the character of my client. Were he to commit this crime, I think we all know he would not do it in a manner that he had already publicly declared. Nancy Nightshade is an exaggerated character that my client plays for his profession as Drag Queen. Everything that is said under the name of Nancy should always be considered a performance, no matter how real the hatred beneath it might be."_

Lucius was more than happy to sit down and discuss the case with me, Rita Skeeter, reporter for the Daily Prophet. He was very candid, speaking about Severus' passion for the art of drag, and that he was grieved to see a far superior competitor leave the competition. He maintained that Severus is a beloved teacher at Hogwarts, that his Slytherin students look up to him, and it is a shame that prejudice is painting the Slytherin drag queen as guilty. He stated that the evidence would be being reviewed by an independent party and he was sure that they would be able to name a new suspect within the coming weeks. Lucius states that he has a list of his own suspects, as he feels that someone took the opportunity to use Nancy Nightshade's threat to cover their own crime, thus framing an innocent man.

* * *

Molly was reeling as she finally put on the kettle. She would read the article again, this time with a steaming cup of Oolong. She found that her mind had definitely changed. Nancy Nightshade couldn't possibly be guilty of such a crime; Lucius had made that perfectly clear.

Over the coming weeks there were many articles regarding the Patricia Pout's murder. There was a feature on Patricia and her life outside of Drag; Peter Pettigrew. The evidence was analysed from all angles, eventually it left Molly's head spinning. Nancy had seemed both incredibly innocent and incredibly guilty, it really depended on the perspective. Molly, much like the rest of the Wizarding World, was engrossed in the drama.

The truth was finally revealed in the Daily Prophet. Somehow Rita had all the information from the trial in record time, before the information had even been released. Molly read avidly, the conclusion to the story of the Killer Queen and the Wizarding Drag Championship murder.

* * *

**A KILLER QUEEN: JUST NOT THE ONE WE EXPECTED**

Rita Skeeter, writing for the Daily Prophet can reveal, exclusively that Severus Snape, also known as Nancy Nightshade, has been released and his innocence declared at the Wizengamot today. It was a shocking turn of events that led to the arrest of a Queen that had not even made it onto the popular show.

Before the cast of this season's show was even chosen, Queens everywhere sent in their applications and the cream of the crop were picked out by Gilderoy Lockhart, and his fellow judges. It seemed that one Queen took issue with Patricia Pouts being selected over them. More evidence and secret correspondence can reveal that Lady Volderdash, was supposed to be on the show, but after a hefty donation from Lady Fawn (James Potter) Lady Volderdash's dreams were shattered.

Lady Volderdash isn't the kind of drag queen to be trifled with, and more than one Queen was in her bad books. It can be exclusively revealed that Nancy Nightshade, had once worked for Volderdash, who is sometimes known as Tom Riddle. It was under this employment that Nancy Nightshade fed secrets to none other than Albus Dumbledore, which ultimately prevented Lady Volderdash from getting the coveted position of Defence Against the Dark Arts post at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Albus Dumbledore is famously against the Dark Arts and is rumoured to use his dark potions master to ensure that any potential employees are not going to pollute the ideals of Hogwarts. Lucius Malfoy laid out evidence proving all of this for the Wizengamot, securing Severus Snape's release. There was detailed correspondence, including evidence that showed that Lady Volderdash conspired with none other than Helluva Bottom Carter to spy on the competition. The information he gleaned enabled him to frame the Nightshade for the murder, seemingly perfect payback for preventing his desired career in teaching the youth of Wizarding Britain. It was a 'one stone, two birds' situation, as he was also able to take out the competitor that prevented him from getting his moment in the spotlight.

Evidence showed that while the now famous, royal purple sequin leotard was the murder weapon, Pettigrew did not die of asphyixiation, but the garment was actually custom made at Borgin and Burkes Drag Outlet. The company has come under fire many times for also providing dark magical objects. On this occasion both of their businesses collided as the cursed leotard killed Pettigrew slowly, before he had even removed it. Everything else was designed to frame Nancy Nightshade.

The public seems to stand firmly behind the dour professor and iconic drag queen. Fans, who call themselves 'Nightshade's Princesses' have called for the WWN and the Ministry of Magic to pay damages for the time that Nancy was wrongfully imprisoned, and for loss of earnings while she was prevented from taking part in the show, and from his teaching position. Lucius Malfoy has stated that he will be leading the lawsuit.

I was able to be one of the first to speak to Severus Snape regarding the trial, and I asked him what he thought about Patricia Pouts murder, his feelings on the competition, and the outcome.

"_It's a competition, and I have always relished the moment when another Queen left the competition. As I have said each and every week another Queen left, 'Another One Bites the Dust,' however, I never expected it to be quite so literal."_

After the rest of the Marauder drag family had outrageously stated that Severus Snape had to be the one that was guilty, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Lola Lupalicious made an effort to distance herself. It has been said that she left the group entirely, not wanting to support their continued hatred of some of the other drag queens in their community. We asked Severus what he thought of this.

"_Another one down, only two to go,_" he smiled.

To hear more about Lady Volderdash's trial, and Lucius Malfoy's controversial decision to represent this suspect as well, please turn to page five.

* * *

Molly Weasley put down the article. After the previous article, she had been so sure that Severus had done it. After the way Bill, her son, talked about his actions at school, she was almost convinced of his guilt. Now, she drank her cup of tea from her favourite mug, and wondered somewhat guiltily what might be her entertainment now.

She flicked to page five and was soon engrossed all over again. Rita Skeeter _was a fantastic journalist,_ she thought. She wondered how she got the facts before anyone else, and how she presented them. After all, a Rita Skeeter article was far more exciting than any other.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This fic got me 7.5 and 9 bonus points.
> 
> I didn't get deducted for characterisation or anything, 2.5 deducted for SPaG - some of which I do not agree with. As far as I am aware comma splices can also be dealt with by using a subordinate conjunction. There were a few comma errors though and the usual silly things that can get missed. Overall, I am happy with this one, made me howl.


End file.
